On Feminist Leadership during a Pandemic

 

Leadership is never an easy task. Add the current pandemic situation and very easily feelings of being overwhelmed, and things spiraling out of control become unmanageable. As a woman in leadership position, and a self-proclaimed feminist, I have been reflecting on what ‘‘feminist leadership’’ can look like during these uncertain times and want to offer the following principles for both leadership and followership alike.

Self & Collective Care

Working remotely more often than not means you are clocking more than your 40 hours quite easily. Burn out is therefore more eminent amongst teams than before and women especially report feeling guilty about taking time off for themselves. We all know that if you are exhausted, your performance and productivity levels can be affected, so take time off if you need to. Practice your boundaries, log on and off work for the hours you need to, take lunch and health breaks, exercise and model this behavior for yourself and for others. If your company can afford it, consider taking collective time off work together or institutionalize game nights or other fun ways of meeting virtually as a team to collectively care for each other and yourselves. A great resource we are utilizing as a team at my workplace is the Shine App for our daily self-care and meditation.

Empathetic Leadership

The strongest way to build relationships is to be genuinely curious about the people you lead and work with. I call this seeing people! In these difficult times as a leader you must truly see people. Your colleague may be going through a loss in the family, a partner being laid off or uncertainty in their employment status. These circumstances will evoke emotional and mental responses and will ultimately affect how they show up to work. Empathetic leaders are trusted leaders.  

Heaven knows you cannot lead teams if people don’t trust you, and in any crisis trusted leaders are the best bet to keep the boat afloat! So, before you get started with that kickoff meeting, check in with how your colleagues and peers are doing. Truly be present, be flexible, listen and ask how you can be of support to those who need it. Encourage ‘‘camera-on’’ practices to help people feel more connected and get comfortable with holding space for yourself and others. Encourage 1-1 meetings with teams and consider peer support groups. At WIAN, we recently introduced a buddy system and we are excited to practice holding space for our colleagues in this way.

Transparency

As a rule of thumb, keep all teams informed and in the loop. In a crisis, any good leader will increase the cadence of team briefings to ensure anxiety levels are kept in check and that the teams’ trust in the leadership and in their employer is unwavering. This is not the time to make false promises, update on what you know and check in for team concerns which you should address when you have more clarity. Be believable, be credible, be trustworthy and be clear. A truly feminist leader will check in with both core and support teams. Many organizations have cultures that often leave interns, junior roles and support staff out of the conversation. This is not the time to keep updates classified, but rather lead with transparency, compassion, and humility.

We are living through unprecedented times. As a leader you may be called upon now more than ever to make hard decisions at this time. I leave you with Maya Angelou’s words ‘I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel’. I trust that you will be a feminist leader as you navigate this crisis.

 First Published by The Women in International Affairs Network- By Kate Kiama

How do I Inspire Change?

Thursday 27^th February 2014.

By Kate Kiama

This post originally appeared on IWD's website to mark this years International Women's Day on March 8th 2014.

Where you are born should not, and does not define the whole person you are, or are yet to become. Unfortunately for others, some experiences, normally harmful cultural practices and their socialization processes, limit their potential greatly and as such they do not have the ‘luxury’ to live a full life which many of us take for granted.

I may be considered a lucky girl having being born and raised up in a city. In many African contexts, this may be the world of difference between being a child bride or having had to undergo female genital mutilation and thereby increasing the risk of being infected with HIV & AIDS amongst a plethora of other issues that most girls in rural cities are twice as likely to go through every day.

We have no control of where we are born, or what continent and culture we most identify with. We do on the other hand have control of what we can do to end all form of violence against women and children and break the circle of silence everywhere and especially in our own back yards. We also have control to change the course of this story through our own small way by building young women’s self-esteem and empowering them to speak up and let their beautiful voices be heard. This is how I inspire change...

My name is Kate Kiama and I am a proud African young woman. I was born and educated in Nairobi, Kenya and run my own unregistered mentorship project called Sisterhood for teenage girls in Nairobi’s informal settlements and within the outskirts of the town. Sisterhood aims to inspire, support and encourage young impressionable teens to be the best they can be through teaching the young ladies vital life skills. Key among these lessons are self-esteem, sex education, career advice as well as goal setting. I am of the considered opinion that if we empower a younger generation of women, they will be at a better bargaining power if they are self-confident, educated and able to articulate their issues. To get to the desired promise land, society has to be willing to unlearn some things and thus begins the genesis of a new socialization process...

Sisterhood may not be as fancy as most renowned mentorship programmes. In fact it is the very basic element of what mentorship is. I knew I had to do something to change the course of the path that most girls’ life face, and what better way to do that when they are young and in safe-spaces. I initially identified a school where my grandmother comes from in Ruchu area of Murang’a in central Kenya. I initially noticed that the girls did not identify with me because I was from a city. Still fired up with my mission, I started hunting for women and young ladies who were originally from the area and have defied all odds to be successful mothers, wives, business women and professionals even if culture necessarily dictated that they could only be family carers and nothing more. I did not have to look far and started with my own family, my grandmother, mother, aunties and their friends have all been focal mentors to the girls in the area to inspire them and help them realize that where you are born does not define all of you and that if they want to be whatever they dream about, they are entitled to it as much as anybody else. It has been an amazing journey having being in the area for four years at the first initial school and it makes me believe that you can do something small that will have a lifetime of impact and you can start today in your own garden or in your own small bedroom…

There is a local saying in many African communities that women like children should be seen and not heard. This would be the barometer to measure a ‘good African woman’. I do value my culture and heritage but I do also acknowledge that some of the beliefs and practices are both archaic and morbid and must be done away with for the full realization of young women to flourish to their potential. It is easier to teach a new dog a new trick and never vice versa. It is for that reason of paramount importance to ensure that young ladies are reinforced with positive imagery of the joys of being a woman and never the shame or second class citizenry they are often portrayed as.

Inspiring change begins with me. It begins with me taking action. It begins with the basics of what are my beliefs and values that I hold dear as a young woman. It begins with the gesture that I am willing to hold another young woman’s hand so we can go the mile not necessarily faster but further. Inspiring change means that I am willing to speak up for my sister until she finds her voice because I know she would do the same for me and my sisters-sister! How are you inspiring change I wonder?

International Day of the Girl Child Celebration.

It’s been a while since “Sisterhood” was actively doing mentorship in Schools within Nairobi and its environs. This is majorly because your truly was back in class from May- October of this year and it proved quite a challenge balancing school work, full time employment and Sisterhood. Nonetheless I was still scribbling down thoughts and ideas especially to help build teenage girls self esteem and help them gain meaningful life skills. In all the deadlines and assignments, Sisterhood committed to celebrating the International Day of the Girl Child in style.

The International day of the Girl Child is an annual celebration marked on the 11^th October. The day is an international observance day as declared by the United Nations in the year 2012.The observation supports more opportunity for girls, and increases awareness of inequality faced by girls worldwide based upon their gender. This inequality includes areas such as access to education, nutrition, legal rights, medical care, and protection from discrimination, violence and unfree child marriage and access to education among others.

Since the day is for the girl child, Sisterhood came up with an activity which is spearheaded by the girls and what better way to do so than to hold a debate intundem with this year’s theme which was 'Innovating for Girl's Education.' Sisterhood approached 4 schools within Nairobi namely; Ngara Girls High School, Arya Girls High School both in Nairobi’s Ngara area and Bahati Soweto and Bahati Mukuru both CC’s located in Nairobi’s informal settlement of Embakasi area. Each school was tasked to present 3 debaters who would present on innovative ways to ensure that more girls are able to access education not only in Kenya but within Africa and beyond. Each team (school) was also tasked to present on Manila paper the girls dreams, hopes and aspirations. The girls were encouraged to draw, paste pictures and write what they envision for themselves with no barriers in place. I believe that sometimes we are more visual and to assist those moments where you cannot be best able to articulate yourself visual diagrams always seem to go a long way. The fine arts which each school presented were the background of the debater’s podium.

It was very refreshing to hear the innovative solutions the girls came up with. Most of them identified that the current solutions are not working and hence it is obvious that newer solution must be incorporated to address the same. The girls called for reforms in the heavy taxes levied on sanitary towels which hinder many girls from being able to attend school every month during their menses for lack of adequate sanitary towels. It was also noted that campaigns that only provide sanitary towels are not effective especially in the Northern parts of the country where girls also lack proper inner wear. Strategies such as ‘panties for a purposes’ was called for. The girls also suggested that more mentorship programmes are needed to enable the girls to have good support structures and pillars of hope.

The debate generated a plenary discussion where all present participants to the event contributed towards brain storming on sustainable solutions to address the challenges faced by the girl child in Kenya. The judges who are all very passionate about gender development and who also work in the sector proved instrumental in steering the discussion.

As with all competition there must be a winner. Sisterhood is committed to inspire, support and encourage young teenagers and as such we found it prudent to have gifts of participation for all 12 debaters. Each contestant was presented with a certificate of participation, and a journal from the United religions Initiative and the Sema Kenya BBC program also presented t-shirts and wrist bands to the girls.

The first three debaters each got Bata Shoe School Vouchers donated by the United religions Initiative. The judges also made special mention to one of the debaters who came up with the most innovative solutions and was also presented with a school bag from URI. The BBC- Sema Kenya program also donated wrist bands to all 54 participants to the event.

All 54 participants were welcomed to refreshments after the event which took 2 hours. The event was held at the host school Ngara Girls in Nairobi from 2:00-4:00 pm on the 18^th October 2013.

Sisterhood sincerely thanks all the people who made this day a great success and for making the girls matter!!

 

Sisterhood in Kibera and Kawangware

My mentorship project dubbed “Sisterhood” has recently expanded its focal point and is now in more schools and centers within Nairobi and its environs. Walking down this road has not been easy to say the least, but it has been unquestionably worthwhile. I am constantly amazed at how differently my world view is as to that of others. Our life experiences definitely have a lot to do with that, but this reality should neither make us vain or bitter, nor conceited or proud.

My most recent encounter has been with young teenagers and very young mothers living in Kibera and Kawangware both located in Nairobi. The negative publicity that is constantly aired in regard to these areas of course makes one skeptical and to a large degree scared of being in the area. It was a happy surprise to find very clean, orderly and respectable young ladies awaiting us. It would be a fallacy to say that no crime or violence indeed goes on in the area, but a lot of good is equally evident in the area too; and I am keen on focusing on the positive and eliminating the negative not the other way round.

In Kibera, my two mentees are both 18 years old and as any normal young lady, they are curious about boys and dating, freedom and making money to name but a few. Our coordinator Emma has appointed 11 Mentors to mentor 22 mentees in the area. This translates to 2 mentees per mentor and we all commit to have contact of at least two hours per week for the next 6 weeks with the girls. Last week was officially our first week of action and on our menu for the day for my team was on goal setting. The girls certainly had to get homework and I cannot wait to hear from them this Saturday how it felt to set their long term goals without any limitation and not withstanding their current situation.

Kawangware has a lovely football team; “Binti” comprised of 25 young ladies between the ages of 12-24.The coordinators of the project the Young Women Leadership Initiative-Kenya use football as an ice-breaker to engage the young ladies. It was a remarkable feeling just being with these girls especially when they shared the impact football and the mentorship project has influenced their lives and their relations with others in the community especially their parents. I have never been a football fan, but I assured the girls that I will be their self appointed cheerleader from now henceforth!!!Many of these girls are actually in the under 17 National football team…

If you preserve it, if you believe it, you can achieve it is the girls’ mantra and it is working!!!

 

Goal Setting at Ruchu Girls.

Cross-Section of Form 2's at Ruchu.

“Our Goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.”-Vincent Van Gogh.

On Saturday 10^th March, Sisterhood set out to Ruchu Girls High School once more. This was to be our last time with the jovial form two’s this term. Our agenda for the day was to set goals!!

The educational system in Kenya is one of the toughest systems that currently exist. The 8-4-4 system has been criticized for focusing solely on examination only, as opposed to actually enlightening students. The recently released O levels results would suggest that most schools have set goals to be the best in the country by producing the best students with the highest possible scores. This is not a bad thing in itself, however other than the holistic goal for the school, and getting that A you might wonder what our student’s personal goals are if any…

As a student in this rigorous system, you might leave your 16years of ‘educated life’ without having made a single goal for yourself! The institutions in which we learn in make timetables and daily rosters and literally plan your initial 12 years of formal education for you technically!  With such tough structures, you might not see the need of setting personal goals as you have them spelt out already however not built to suite your explicit requirements.

If you ask many young Kenyans what they are doing on October 1 2012,most will say….I don’t know?Ngai that is so far?blah..blah..blah…A student in Primary or Secondary school will actually tell you that they’ll be revising for their finals but once that is out of the way they will give you that I don’t know auto-reply.

Ms Catherine Matheri,a life coach recognized this grave problem and has embarked on a Reach-Out-Goal Setting programe to get young people to set their own personal goals; both short term goals(while in school or for this academic term)and long term goals(after school and when the ‘real life starts’).At exactly 11 am on the day, the girls under the watchful eye of Ms Matheri got right to business. The session begun with a series of exercises to brain-storm and take stock of each person’s individual current situation. It is obviously logical to review where you are at to know where you want to be, and how to get that end result a reality.

Some of the exercises may not have made much sense to the girls but they helped them visualize what they want to be in 10-20 years’ time. Not only what profession they would like to be in, but what type of studies they would like to have accomplished or be pursuing, what finances and investments they would like to have, personal development,relationships,giving back to the community among others. Visualizing is not enough. The girls had to write down all their goals starting with the easier long-term goals and wound-up with the short term goals. Ms Matheri  finally taught the girls how to make those goals SMART(Specific,Measurable,Action-Oriented,Realistic and Attainable, Time Bound)and the need to constantly review them and share them with people they trust. The sharing of the goals, she insisted was for accountability and for moral support.

Making Goals is a continuous process, the often you do it, the easier it gets. Norman Vincent Peale once said that all successful people have goals. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do…

Ms Matheri and Carol a student.

The girls at Ruchu Girls recently surprised us, they meet every Sunday in small groups which they formed to encourage each other, share their goals for the week and celebrate each other’s victorious for achievements accomplished. Now here’s to a goal setting generation!

TEAM BUILDING AT RUCHU.

4^TH February 2012 was our first date with Ruchu Girls High School this year. Located around 90 kms from Nairobi and with the newly refurbished Nairobi-Thika Highway, we were there within no time. Our session with the bubbly form twos who number are close to 200 students was to commence promptly at 10:30 am.

Of course I was excited to be back a year later with the mentorship program (Sisterhood) and with a new class. The day’s session was to be like no other we had previously had. The day’s speaker was Ms Catherine Matheri a life coach and a French lecturer. We were elated that she could facilitate the day’s activities and be our first guest speaker to return to Ruchu Girls.

A session of 200 students really cannot be easy; but thankfully Ms Matheri has extensive experience in handling students. The session was for team-building and therefore we divided the girls into smaller groups of around ten-fifteen each. Now when you think team building, you probably imagine a field with crazy stunts such as those you might see in ‘fear factor’…..The stunts that Ms Matheri had in mind however did not entail leaving the comfort of the girls’ seats but still proved quite entertaining and more notably worth their while.

Each Group was provided with lots of plain paper, colourful markers, manila papers, pins and a list of instructions. Each Group was to decide on a hype town name, and true to that, some very interesting towns were created. Each town had to have a mayor and the girls were encouraged to create other jobs which they felt their town needed. Each Member of the group had to have a different profession. The interesting thing was that no-one person chose her profession! The group members would decide and allocate jobs to whomever they felt most befitting of a certain role and provide reasons for the same.

Next the town was to come up with a mission and a vision statement. The Town had to further come up with a list of things it expected to achieve and those virtues that it felt were most important to it.It was quite exciting to walk around the hall and seat in different towns. Different personalities in a town made each little group so different! It was very intriguing to listen to how town names were created which I felt was largely contributed to things teenage girls might fancy! As there was going to be group presentations, each town tried to pimp, floss and add serious swag to out-do the rest!

The town name, its members and its vision and mission statement had to be well written on the manila papers. Each person had to pin up their profession for all to see.

The whole process seems quite incomprehensible but it has pronounced significance. It is important for the girls to learn how to work as a team! Many a times, we need to be part of a group to be able to achieve our goals. They are times also when others see some characteristics and abilities in us which we are not always aware of. Some young ladies I noted were very surprised when their group-mates chose a profession for them which they would not have otherwise agreed on. Finally, it is important to have a flight path towards achieving our objectives. The mission and vision statements helped the girls identify what really matters to them as individuals and as a holistic group in society.

Ms Matheri left the girls with Home-work; each town was to have a town book which they would make entries in, each week after meeting. The girls had the autonomy to decide what the agenda of each meeting was about. This ensures that the girls recognize that they have support structures among each other and should thus be each other’s cheerleaders and comforters.

Time always flies by when you are having a ball. It’s always a bitter-sweet moment leaving the girls, but we will be back soon…..10^th March 2012 to be precise. Till then…

Of life’s Drizella’s and Anastasia’s.

Cinderella is a folk tale that has thousands of variants know the world over. Growing up as a young girl, you must have been in awe about the glass slipper, the impeccable chariot, the gorgeous ball with poised people among many other interesting things. However the most poignant thing I recall in the story is Cinderella’s two step sisters: Drizella and Anastasia Tremaine!!

This two display step-sisters at their worst. They are manipulative, scheming spoilt brats who cannot take no for an answer and would go to all cost to ensure that if they can’t get anything neither will anyone else.

As a child, I would just marvel at the story, mostly glad that it was fictional. Little did I know that in the ‘real’ world they are the equivalents of evil Lady Tremaines’s children; not in two but in the hundreds!

Am sure you have met one of these people. They do not need to be related to you but I am referring to those sisters who step on you to get to that promotion...or who backstab you to win favours with friends…..etc.I call them “step” because they literally step on you to move forward!!!

Quite recently, I have been encountering a number of this evil Tremaine’s.Some claim to be our friends, but if circumstances force them to choose, they will drop you like hot cake and look for ways to move forward even at the detriment of your friendship. Others just do so to make themselves feel better especially when things seem to be going great for you. Whatever ailing reason they have, it is never for your benefit but to your detriment.

So, when I read Cinderella today, I am not as naïve as a nine year old child. I am very aware that these people do exist in our midst and have learnt how to detect them. It is of course wise not to have such people in your inner circles for obvious reasons.Therefore, once you identify them, feel free to run away from them like a plague!!!! Interesting how such a beautiful read can make us see such unbeautiful things!

Despite everything, we all know how that story ends…evil never wins…so ladies….let’s not step on other sisters shoes just because!!!Instead we should be like ladders, helping a sister reach a higher level!!And be genuinely glad when others achieve and accomplish! They too will be happy when the tide is in your beach!

To Girl Power!

If you are a girl in Africa especially and able to read this you deserve a pat on the back! Or maybe you don’t even realize how your reality would have been so much more different if you lived in a different part of the same continent.

We face a lot of discrimination and inequality right from birth. For instance some cultures ululate thrice to signify the birth of a girl and five times if the new born was a boy. Society therefore openly affirms that the boy-child is more celebrated and welcomed. Various theories have been put up to explain this sharp contrast but that is not what is of interest to me! You would imagine that this open discrimination is a thing our fore-fathers had but you would be utterly shocked that even today this vice continues.

If you are very observant, you might have noticed gender insensitive remarks or comments we make every day or what the media portrays. An insurance advert comes to mind…it displays that young Kenyan girls only aspire to be teachers and policewomen! Yet the Kenyan boy child gets to be the doctor or fly the cool planes….you get my drift don’t you? I believe that everybody is entitled to be whatever they want to be. Indeed there is nothing wrong with a female teacher or policewoman but do we not feel we are limiting the Kenyan girls’ dreams?

That was just food for thought! Today we should celebrate the young women who have beaten the odds and overcome huge obstacles some which they might not have even realized and are now regarded as literate. Today I remember all the young teenage girls who are about to sit their national examinations both in Primary and Secondary School. More so I remember my mentees in Ruchu Girls High School in Murang’a.

I feel that it is our duty as young women and girls alike to change our socialization process. This may take a few years to accomplish but it can be done. If each young lady helps encourage and motivate another imagine how far girl-power can go!

So young ladies, society does not and will not define us. We cannot allow ourselves to be limited by other people’s visions and missions. We define ourselves! You may have been one of the lucky one’s to sail through school and are now self reliant…but there are many who missed out on this part of life…Once you realize this am sure you will see why it is important to give a sister a hand however small and trivial it may seem to you. Who knows she might just be a Nobel peace prize, a renowned author, a president, an ambassador…the list is limitless….

Sisterhood wishes all the candidates of 2011 the best of  luck  and great success in their examinations!

The culmination of “Sisterhood” phase one!

It’s sad to say goodbye-especially when you feel that you are losing a great number of friends. I must admit I was not particularly keen on having the grand finale of “Sisterhood” because I felt that I was turning my back to over 800 newly found acquaintances in Ruchu Girls High School. The D-day did however arrive, March19th, 2011 to be precise, and the cold, wet, gloomy Nairobi weather did nothing to lift up my spirits. I couldn’t help but have mental flash backs on the journey “Sisterhood” and the young girls have taken these past months. After working on our self esteem and image, communication, sex education, gender and goal setting it was important to leave the girls with a memorable session that will work for the benefit of their long term goals. A career day! And who better to facilitate this than Inoorero University.

A diverse delegation of 13 students and 3 staff from the University helped make this day possible. Each representative had something unique about them that made it somewhat obvious as to why they were representing their faculty in the day’s agenda. The driver for instance, Mr.Michael Njue happened to be a parent at Ruchu Girls High School some years ago. He proudly talks of his daughter who is now successful in business. Loise Njoroge and Roselyne Ng’endo both students at the University happen to be alumni of the high school.

Inoorero University delegation.

Mr. Eddy Kaddebe the Assistant Dean Faculty of Law and Miss. Pauline Kawera a Customer Relation Representative facilitated the plenary session. Being the first session of the day, the facilitators gave a brief on the university and a vivid description of the courses offered. This was followed by a motivational talk. The presence of the two former students acted as a real motivator for the high school students. Most of the girls could not hide their admiration and excitement on seeing Loise who was a former head-girl at the school and is now pursuing Law at the University and Roselyne a Business student. Due to the sheer large number of the students at the high school, it was important to have break-away sessions after the motivational talk to address questions and clarifications on a faculty level. Each faculty was designated a room and interested participants were encouraged to attend the laid back sessions conducted by the University Students.





ICT students encouraging the young ladies!



The sessions were very interactive and very lively. It was important to have campus students explain and answer the students because they can relate to their issues better and they therefore have greater influence on these very impressionable teenagers. The sessions were probably the highlight of the day. It was very encouraging to note that a good number of the girls are interested in ICT. Not surprisingly all the representatives of this faculty happened to be young lads. With the student’s enthusiasm and inquisitiveness, the career day was hardly long enough to satisfy their quest for information. It is evident that the girls might need other such career days. All in all-the culmination of phase one of “Sisterhood” ended on a high. The girls were thrilled to spend a day with campus students who shared experiences and advise with them and who made the learning experience fun too!