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Friday, February 11, 2011

Getting Beyond the Myths of Singles…….

Its February again….and many singles out there may be dreading the day symbolized with heart-shaped outlines, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid.

Just last week I had a reunion with some of my old classmates….I would love to indulge you into what interesting kids we were but that’s a vowed secret. We however engaged in a heated debate on singles and several myths that surround this “marginalized” class of people. The list is far from exhaustive but these are probably the most common perceptions:

Singles are immature-We tend to see relationships, marriage and children as the true bench marks of maturity. Therefore we automatically think that singles are immature because they do not know what it means to be in a serious committed relationship.

Singles are incomplete-I hear that A LOT…..Granted human beings are social beings who seek relationships, love and ways to express their sexuality. We think couples are normal and that single people are….uhm…perhaps a bit abnormal!

Singles are unstable-Because the myth of restlessness persists, it is difficult for many singles to get jobs, obtain credit, buy a home, be taken equally as serious as married/engaged/dating counter parts in career growth etc.

Singles are damaged-If people don’t follow the “norm” we wonder what’s wrong with them! And conclude that some tragedy befell them hence their different views.

Singles are dangerous-few couples are 100% secure in their relationship. When singles arrive, couples’ internal radar system starts flashing. They wonder whether this is an innocent friendship or a subtle flirtation.

Singles are inconsequential-Some believe numbers represent truth. Singles may be regarded as “marginalised”and not en-vogue with society’s ‘big picture’. Hence their opinions aren’t really a big deal and can be ignored from time to time.

Singles are unacceptable-for all the reasons stated above and others you might probably want to add, singles may feel unacceptable and unwanted in society.

Being single may be a choice that others must learn to respect. I do acknowledge that some of the above myths may be some-what true but they do not apply discriminately to single persons only! So whether your single, dating, married, engaged, divorced, widowed…..do have a Happy Valentine’s Day:

To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,
All in the morning betime,
And I a maid at your window,
To be your Valentine.
Then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes,
And dupp'd the chamber-door;
Let in the maid, that out a maid
Never departed more.

William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5


  1. yeah gal being single is a choice but with its pros n cons,but mostly i thnk cons outweighs the pros is it, ama?anyway do have a happy valentine too.

  2. Its not right to give misjudgements on peoples lives, singlehood is a phase i always believe evryone goes through and ones best is most realized more then, so i urge the single ladies to embrace singlehood and make the best out of it while it lasts. happy valentines dea. peris

  3. Yeah, its true infact some of the most successful pips are singles, condoliza rcice, githu muigai, hillary clinton sir henry (until recently), imean, theas less burden and more time to develop oneself. happy vals

  4. Hey gals....like what am reading....Regina if you think you need to balance the sides-go for it.

    Peris-I totaly agree that single ladies should embrace the phase as you put it and not mop around with long faces!bad for the wrinkles too!!

    Marci-yeah that's not a shocker but by all means the underlining message is be happy!if the right person comes along and it doesn't compromise your hapiness kudos!

  5. I know gal, you did not just call me old!!! That's war!!!

    Anyhu, in life, everyone has a choice to make. The choice we make either impact us negatively or positively. The choice we make, not everyone will be with you on it. Only you can be proud of your choice 100%.

    And the thing that one should go with is what really makes one happy!

    I am not getting this. Who is guilty here? The people who are in a relationship? EEEHHH, I don’t think so! There is no perfect person in the world.

    There are two sides to almost everything! Example, the most common, two faces on a coin! Two sides of judgment (guilty or innocent). Heaven or Hell. Love or Hate. Happy or Sad!!! You choose what you want. You can also be in a relationship or single! And whichever choice you choose, there are, if I am allowed to say, GOOD or BAD consequences.

    As highlighted, if you are happy in the status you are in, good for you!!!

    All in all, don’t you think there might be some truth behind all those myths?

  6. D-gal your not old-ageing gracefully!!!

    Haha-am having de-ja vu!I agree that choices are ours to make.and the jury's still out on the guilty verdict....but why does society look at you funny when your a lass at a certain age and no man is in the mix?no shocker that it is usually people in relatationships that have the most arched eyebrows!!!!!back to my theory of inddifference maybe?

    is there truth behind all these myths?hmhh....maybe I should do one on couples then we see what you think!