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Friday, August 10, 2012

**Story of Appreciation**

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial
position in a big company.

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made
the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic
achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school
until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not
score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the
youth answered "none".

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school
fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year
old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered,
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth
to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth
and perfect.

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes
before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to
study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes
faster than me.

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and
clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.*

the youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he
went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His
mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her
hands to the kid.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did
that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so
wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises
were so painful that his mother
shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of
hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school
fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother
had to pay for his
graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly
washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me
what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished
cleaning all the remaining clothes'

The Director asked, " Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now what appreciation is. Without my
mother, there would not the successful me today. Number 2, by working
together and helping
my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get
something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and
value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager.
I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of
others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his
only goal in life. You are hired.

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect
of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team.
The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he
wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put
himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he
starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when
he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his
employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who
may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but
eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be
full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective
parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid
instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn
piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please
let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and
bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you
do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love
them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich
their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the
mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid
learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and
learns the ability to work with others to get things done.





True lessons for a good life




Randy Pausch: he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.




POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE


Personality:

1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

3. Don't overdo; keep your limits

4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
 
6. Dream more while you are awake

7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
 
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
 
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

13. Smile and laugh more

14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

15. Call your family often

16. Each day give something good to others

17. Forgive everyone for everything

18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6

19. Try to make at least three people smile each day

20. What other people think of you is none of your business

21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.

23. GOD heals everything

24. Do the right things
 
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change

26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up

27. The best is yet to come

28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful

29. When you’re awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it

30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.













Monday, August 6, 2012

Crazy Kenyans.



I have a strange feeling that if extra-terrestrials do exist in outer space and in infinity and beyond, they may be very well able to identify some persons-and on top of that list would be definitely Kenyans.
Of course it would have a lot to do with our athletes who can do remarkable distance in shocking time and with traffic jams in the city it is a bit disappointing for tourist not to see any of these runners do their thing(well maybe if you’re lucky).Anyhow, Kenyans are generally quite  a bunch of life. I really love the fact that we have minimal formalities and ceremonies. You can easily start a conversation with anybody in a matatu and many a times nobody will feel offended. I guess we are very friendly too and though many of our continental neighbours’ are a bit suspicious and skeptical of us, we are pretty much just chilled out guys with a constant sugar rush.
With that said however, they are a couple of things that just perturb me about us Kenyans and our peculiar habits. One of them would be a 3:00 A.M call from one of your peeps on a weekday and the odd question which almost always follows: ‘kwani umelala?’(Are you asleep?)Now am not sure what the standard reply to this should be, but I now put off my phones at 9.00 ish to avoid such ridiculous situations and having my beauty sleep interrupted. Service providers are however making a kill by offering call rate discounts during those hours when I imagine ‘normal’ people should be actually letting their voice box get rest! Well let’s conclude that Safaricom and Airtel among others have serious marketing intelligence.
Another odd behavior is our reflexes! The flight, fight or fright does not encompass a majority of Kenyans who have their own unique albeit unusual way of dealing with potentially lethal situations. They will actually go towards the danger!!!Talk of facing your fears! I think that calls for serious will power to go against your own normal and natural instincts. Why you would go toward a building that has collapsed or near a burning building or a tanker is just beyond me.Half of the time the rescue teams are unable to reach the scenes in time because of these curious and crazy Kenyans.
I have noticed that with any strife, protest or demonstration, you will see smoke-and this is not me being metaphorical! Where the tyers  and sticks are gotten from during such demonstrations still gets me wondering and is there a significance with burning and fire that I need to be made aware of? Polluting the environment all in the name of getting your cause heard does not make any sense really. The posters and flyers are all you need people!
Why more matatu drivers are not involved in the safari-rallies or training the McLaren team flabbergasts me.These public transport guys seem to disregard the value of a human life. With some of the super highways now completed, I shudder to think what maneuvers will be seen on such motorways. But the most amazing thing is that passengers will neither wear their seat-belts nor complain about the speeds! Crazy posters dawn these matatus that if the music is too loud-you’re too old! Or if the speed is too fast-you can alight and walk!!!What became of the mantra that the customer is always right? Bad driving has become second nature to us that you will not miss to see even foreigners driving badly on our roads too…after all, as the Romans; they are doing as they see….
There is certainly never a dull moment in Kenya or with a Kenyan.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Musings of a young working lass


There are numerous things I do not know in this World. Some, I have made little mental notes in the back of my mind that must be learned, (play the violin for instance) others I should think would not make me a better person and I am content to let them slide….

One of those things that seriously perturb me is the competitive spirit that exists in some people. I know many people would describe me as competitive; just yesterday somebody described me as ‘having the potential to jealously guard my opinion’ but I digress…anyhow back to competitiveness…There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting out there and getting what you want with every fiber of your being…however when you start playing dirty or backstabbing others, friends or foes alike-Huston we have a problem!

It is really annoying to realize that as a young professional lass out there in the ‘real’ world we have to be twice as good in whatever it is we do to get that recognition, promotion or that job. The current predicament that faces me is an office bully who I note is obviously out to get my head and burn my reputation among other nasty trickery he has up his sleeves. What is even more annoying is that he smiles at me and thinks this pretty face will take this lying down silently…

I choose not to engage in these mundane games but trust me when I say my spirit is not nearly broken. I know especially that the fact the bully is a guy infuriates me even more than I should let it be: and maybe my mechanism of coping isn’t helping matters either (keep annoying him by being damn good at what it is that I am here to do) My plan is to be civil even if most of the time I’d rather be sticking pins into him.

So the last couple of weeks have been like walking on thin ice, being the newbie in the hood it’s kinda difficult to see through people because as with first impressions everybody is on their best behavior. A couple of days later you notice some little red-flags and realize even Eden has its snakes. You try to ignore and over look  some remarks, gestures and slight omissions but later you realize this is the over competitive spirit been unleashed to you in small doses to test you…..

Anyhow as with many lessons life throws at us, I chose to fight for what I believe and will not be cowed by some male ego that cannot handle some little competition from ‘little old me’. I do not have any apologizes to make if am really that good(modesty aside) and I know am here for a reason and will not let chances pass me by because of frustration and dirty trickery. One of us will have to change our ways and I can tell you for free...it aint gonna be me...

So if you are in such a position or know anybody going through a similar patch do sing to  them ‘let the sun shine, Let the sunshine baby, let it all go let it all go…and let them keep getting better at what it is that they do!

Monday, July 23, 2012

The Art of Saying Goodbye



How we are socialized can pose great challenges as well as strengths in our lives today and tomorrow. One strange thing I have come to discover about myself is my poor inability to say goodbye. My friends especially tease me on this odd trait and I must admit a simple act as bidding someone farewell can take me close to an hour or so to do( I know am quite the chatter box).

Now this might not seem too tragic on the face of it, but I have been wondering for a long time now why some people (women especially) stay in relationships that long turned sour. Is this a bad case of the inability to say goodbye?

Am not sure why relationships ever get to the ‘it’s complicated’ stage. I imagine any form of relation with others should be for some sort of gain or benefit that both of you derive. It could be for companionship, love, support, encouragement...The list really is endless…but I fancy it should have some positivity in it.Never do we hear of people enthusiastically searching for pain, regret and bucket loads of….you get the point don’t you!

So why is it that these people still stay when the happiness quickly fades away and in comes rivers of tears? They are more sad than glad to be with these same people who once made them tingle and now make their hearts race with anxiety and panic attacks!!Doesn’t getting your running shoes on quickly come into mind?

I know various scholars and theories have been put forth on why people stay in such dysfunctional and often abusive relationships. Many a times it could be because of how we are socialized. Culture and religion further fuel this issue. Now  as asserted severally before, I do love my culture and my religion, but I love me too…this might not seat pretty with my clan elders or with the  clergy and laity but I chose to settle this matter with St Peter and God Himself when the time does come. I have thus concluded that leaving such crappy relationships whatever the form is literally as easy as A-B-C.

A-  Activate your self Esteem.

After spending time with anyone who abuses you physically, mentally or emotionally, yourself-worth and self-esteem are often in the negative zones. These people have mustered the skill of destroying the human spirit with words, acts and omissions. Most victims stay putt in these cycles because they believe nobody else will want them and believe the expression better the devil you know….Your first step to running from this destruction that faces you is to activate your self-esteem. Most abusers first tactic is to destroy your own self-image. Once you re-build this they will feel threatened and might realize they no longer have their claws stuck into you.

Hung out with people who make you feel good about yourself. Do stuff you enjoy and get repairing that lost self-esteem.

B-   Be Bold.

Now I don’t mean go out and buy an AK47 or hire an assassin. Depending on what form of abuse you face be very careful on how you approach this matter…i.e. tell the brother to take a hike! If he is the violent gladiator, I think it is common sense to tell him with serious manpower behind you. Or whatever will make you feel safe given he might not take those words too kindly. Be bold –is actually more for you than it is for him. It is acknowledging that things did not pun out as planned and it is perfectly alright to end this NOW. Get rid of the water proof mascara and as Ciku Muiruri says in her article ‘Killing for love? That’s plain daft’-allow yourself to cry a river, build a bridge and get over it!



C-   Call it quits.

And finally be firm with your decision to leave. It is mentally and emotionally exhausting for you and for us to still be your friend if you keep back-stepping and forgiving this one person who causes such mayhem and chaos in your life that we have to help clean up. Forgive him yes but from a distance…again more for you than it is him! You deserve to be happy inside and out and it is never alright to let someone deliberately trample upon your dreams, desires and wellbeing.

There you have it…saying goodbye simplified!

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly-Robert F Kennedy

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character-Albert Einstein

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much-Helen Keller

People who enjoy what they are doing invariably do it well-Joe Gibbs

For success, attitude is equally as important as ability-Harry F Banks

Nobody’s a natural, you work hard to get good and then work hard to get better-Paul Coffey

Think and speak beautifully only-Christian Larson

Live as if you were to die tomorrow, learn as if you were to live forever-Mahatma Gandhi

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore-Andre Gide

Ambition-Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking bout.

Work-Don’t believe in luck, believe in hard work.

Opportunity-don’t let the bird in your hand fly away for the crow on the fence.

Self-esteem-No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Life-life is a voyage that is homeward bound.

Health-Health and cheerfulness mutually beget each other.

Friendship-fate choses our relatives, we chose our friends.

Pride-Everyone is self-centered, it’s the radius that matters.

Organization-There is no such thing as hurry, only bad scheduling.

Age-You have reached middle age when all you exercise is caution.

Achievement-when you reach your goal you should not turn back.

Greatness-Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them.