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Monday, February 13, 2012

To My Valentine.

February 14th is just a couple of hours away. Unlike most other festivities, St. Valentine’s Day carries with it mixed emotions from both genders respectively. Whatever your view on the day, single, dating, married, separated, divorced, deceased or in a civil union, we all deserve to love and to be loved in return-not only on 14/2 but on all other days in the year!

Whitney Houston (rest her soul) affirmed others wise counsel, in one of her lyrics: that the greatest love is undeniably inside oneself. That said, one must start with self-love to love and be loved! I am no Christopher Hart to give relationship advice but having lived with me for close to quarter a century and loving myself with all my flaws and perfections(without being vain or stuck-up) I thought it would be very  sensible to write to my Valentine this year…(help him out a bit)

My dear Valentine, it is true that with age sometimes comes great wisdom. I have truly accepted that I am neither Cinderella nor you Prince Charming. Notwithstanding that, it does not give either of us an excuse not to try and live our very own composed fairy tale. I do believe that we can have that happy ever after but all those who said it comes easy without hard-work, structured and productive debates lied! I know somehow it will not always be stress-free and fun, but I honestly hope that majority of the time it will be!!

My precious,granted,we both love our culture and rich African-Roots! Respect in today’s World lucky for me and all other women and young girls in the Continent is a two way thing. You not respecting me and being a chauvinist doesn’t make you the ideal African hunk but rather that low-life all sisters want to avoid like the plague. If we BOTH do not respect ourselves and each other, this must come to an end. I know it is important to listen to the wise and old, but we must surely learn to filter out some ancient “advice” that our fore-fathers passed on to us and learn to really listen to each other. We are a team, both parties count, and should be consulted in decisions that ultimately affect us.

My love, as an educated young lass, I intend to work and be damn good at whatever I set out to be! I would really like your continued support and encouragement regardless of who is bringing the most bacon home! I do promise to be your biggest cheer-leader too and maybe even rub your feet sometimes after a long day’s work! I will obviously cook and clean and expect you to do the same when I am held up at work. This does not make you less of a man in my eyes, quite the contrary, I see that you are very thoughtful and considerate.

I DO NOT CARE which studies have proven that men are “naturally” polygamous!Hun,if you aren’t content with JUST ME, you can go hung literally! In today’s world of so many STIs and HIV/AIDS,I will let you know that I am solely responsible for my health and welfare. I refuse to stay with any man who does not respect that and who might take me to meet my Maker prematurely! Even if society says its kinda-ok for you to have other ‘mpangos’ on the side,I vehemently decline to be part and parcel of this arrangement. Society will not help pay my medical bills or raise our orphan children-now will they? I am telling you dearest, it’s either me or the highway!

So my love, you see this year and always, the flowers, romantic dinners, pricey jewellery though thoughtful aren’t really what I want. You see, what I desire isn’t sold in any retail shop.Love,respect,faithfulness,support aren’t that natural in many relationships and they would be the greatest gift this valentine and forever!

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