Part
One
It’s
been 45 days already since I left home to the land that has been long thought
of flowing with milk and honey. I must admit that I am thoroughly enjoying what
I came here to do which is another blog post altogether. Today however, I want to
share some of the most interesting, surprising, funny and downright ridiculous experiences
and culture shocks that yours truly has been dealing with thus far...
As
a Kenyan of course it surprises me that “everyone” seems to be jogging. From DC
to Portland this has been a common occurrence on my way to work, or on my way
to church. Runners in droves seem not to be too bothered even by such horrid
weather. I have honestly never seen such a phenomenal especially hailing from a
country that prides itself with exceptional athletes. Not to give away the
Kenyan formula for sweeping all the marathons, training well has lots to do
with altitude...
I
have recently take up the jogging bug
for the sole reason of burning calories which is something I have never
thought of in my life until getting here. The food as interesting as it is, is
extremely fatty, salty or sugary. Being the carnivore that I am, I am
disappointed about the strange taste of every meat I have eaten. I have never
cared much about portions and what is in a meal, but more and more I am finding
myself reading the ingredients closer. The food frustration gets worse when I
am offered cold food for lunch in the name of a sandwich. In Kenya that is
considered a snack or an appetizer in anticipation of the real hot food! It is
even more frustrating when I ask for chips and get crisps. Chips which is what
many East Africans would also call French fries is considered a meal and comes in
generous portions. I have bought laughable sizes of this here! I have found it
very strange to be offered chips (I mean crisps) for lunch. From where am from
this ‘chips’ are considered children’s snacks and I would be fired if I offered
consultants in Nairobi this and dips for lunch!
I
do love my coffee and tea and I still think that Kenyan coffee and tea is the best
(I travel with my own supply) and so I understand the Starbucks craze. What I
don’t get is the sticks!!!!Honestly how much more would it cost to get
disposable spoons? I have found this interesting kitchen cutlery in virtually
every office and coffee shop I have been to. Since I don’t want to jinx my day
by stirring my hot beverage with this thing I know not its name, I now carry my
own supply of disposable spoons in my lunch bag too!
I
have found it very weird in reading the groceries papers or coupons to also
find on sale a riffle! Am I the only one who has difficulty seeing the lack of
market intelligence or the lack of correlation in purchasing tomatoes and guns?
Other foodie things I can’t get over are the sink erector! And purchasing food
on board a local airline! It leaves me wondering what the airfare covers
exactly. Especially when it’s a seven hour local flight!
Flights,
airlines and airports bring me to my next experience. Albeit an upsetting one,
I like finding the hidden humour. Did I mention that the average time it took
me from Nairobi to DC was about 18 hours? On arrival, it took me another two
hours to clear though customs. The officer I met looked at me and said ‘you
look tired madam-where was your last destination?’ I was too tired to talk and
handed him my passport. Even before I spoke he immediately said-‘wrong line American
passport holders only!’ I knew I was tired but the counter he was attending said
VISITORS!!!! He then proceeded to reject five or six other travellers who like
me had ‘no idea’ what the word VISITOR meant. Too tired to line up in a
different queue I walked up to someone who looked like a supervisor and
explained my predicament....long story short, the guy did not apologize to
neither me nor the other passengers for making our wait longer than necessary
and instead gave a funny announcement that his desk despite the visible sign
will only handle a certain group of people! It made me wonder why the signs are
there in the first place!
On
a separate day in a different airport, I was speaking to an interesting
traveller on various topical issues. She looked like she was well in her
forty’s and asked me where I was from. Her expression on learning that I was
born and educated in Kenya was quite strange and I should be offended! Her next
question was ‘Oh my, where did you learn English from? You sound British? This
statement on where I learnt the language of the Queen has been repeated on more
than this occasion and I just want to say here and now ‘we are taught in
English’!!!I learnt it in school like everyone else! As for the British ascent
it must be historic. They once upon a time colonised my people and we pronounce
and spell some words differently as a result, like colour or issue.
It
has been very clear to me during my short stay here that most Americans have no
idea on what is happening in the world outside their borders. It is shocking to
me that in such a developed country I have to actively seek out international
news to keep up to speed with the crisis in Syria or on the status of the
recent peace accord in South Sudan. The most reported piece of news here in my
opinion is the weather! With such limited or lack of diverse reporting it is
not surprising when someone thinks all Africans speak Swahili or worse still
when someone tries to convince me that Saudi Arabia is in Africa!! I am the one
who should be asking where you learn geography from. Or what exactly do most
people here have Google Maps for? Driving from within the same city ONLY?
Do
stay tuned to for part two of my American shockers...
