To My Valentine.

February 14^th is just a couple of hours away. Unlike most other festivities, St. Valentine’s Day carries with it mixed emotions from both genders respectively. Whatever your view on the day, single, dating, married, separated, divorced, deceased or in a civil union, we all deserve to love and to be loved in return-not only on 14/2 but on all other days in the year!

Whitney Houston (rest her soul) affirmed others wise counsel, in one of her lyrics: that the greatest love is undeniably inside oneself. That said, one must start with self-love to love and be loved! I am no Christopher Hart to give relationship advice but having lived with me for close to quarter a century and loving myself with all my flaws and perfections(without being vain or stuck-up) I thought it would be very  sensible to write to my Valentine this year…(help him out a bit)

My dear Valentine, it is true that with age sometimes comes great wisdom. I have truly accepted that I am neither Cinderella nor you Prince Charming. Notwithstanding that, it does not give either of us an excuse not to try and live our very own composed fairy tale. I do believe that we can have that happy ever after but all those who said it comes easy without hard-work, structured and productive debates lied! I know somehow it will not always be stress-free and fun, but I honestly hope that majority of the time it will be!!

My precious,granted,we both love our culture and rich African-Roots! Respect in today’s World lucky for me and all other women and young girls in the Continent is a two way thing. You not respecting me and being a chauvinist doesn’t make you the ideal African hunk but rather that low-life all sisters want to avoid like the plague. If we BOTH do not respect ourselves and each other, this must come to an end. I know it is important to listen to the wise and old, but we must surely learn to filter out some ancient “advice” that our fore-fathers passed on to us and learn to really listen to each other. We are a team, both parties count, and should be consulted in decisions that ultimately affect us.

My love, as an educated young lass, I intend to work and be damn good at whatever I set out to be! I would really like your continued support and encouragement regardless of who is bringing the most bacon home! I do promise to be your biggest cheer-leader too and maybe even rub your feet sometimes after a long day’s work! I will obviously cook and clean and expect you to do the same when I am held up at work. This does not make you less of a man in my eyes, quite the contrary, I see that you are very thoughtful and considerate.

I DO NOT CARE which studies have proven that men are “naturally” polygamous!Hun,if you aren’t content with JUST ME, you can go hung literally! In today’s world of so many STIs and HIV/AIDS,I will let you know that I am solely responsible for my health and welfare. I refuse to stay with any man who does not respect that and who might take me to meet my Maker prematurely! Even if society says its kinda-ok for you to have other ‘mpangos’ on the side,I vehemently decline to be part and parcel of this arrangement. Society will not help pay my medical bills or raise our orphan children-now will they? I am telling you dearest, it’s either me or the highway!

So my love, you see this year and always, the flowers, romantic dinners, pricey jewellery though thoughtful aren’t really what I want. You see, what I desire isn’t sold in any retail shop.Love,respect,faithfulness,support aren’t that natural in many relationships and they would be the greatest gift this valentine and forever!

HACKER HACKED!!!

A couple of days after my first blog post this year my Gmail account got hacked into!!My hacker claiming to be called “David” had the audacity to text me and brag at his sick accomplishment…His first mistake was to hack into my account; his second mistake was to text me using his cellphone number which of course I am inserting here for all to see. Beware of cell number +254713605977…and he kept piling up on the blunders!

For 33 days I could not access my account or blog! I was sad, scared near depressed, angry…I felt so exposed and so violated!!I know it’s just an account but when someone else can access your personal emails without your express consent, and can go to the extent of usurping you, you feel like a piece of you has been stolen. For most part of early January therefore I was busy trying to retrieve my account and get access to it.My settings were all altered such that when I tried logging into my authentic account, I looked like the hacker! David had made sure to frustrate all my recovery efforts and even activated the two-step verification such that whenever I tried changing the password or filling in the authentication form he got an SMS…wait for it….sent to him on his cell-phone…by yours truly, Google!!!

As a GSA (Google Student Ambassador) you would have thought that I would have this “little” hacking problem sorted out ASAP! But shock on you!!!Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against Google, in fact I love being a Googler and thought of as some Google genius on my campus. But men-where were Google when I needed them? Is it too much to help a sister out at her dire hour of need? Anyhow, so I filled in thousands of authentication forms blah...blah...blah…and I am still waiting to hear officially from the Google Recovery Team in regard to the hacked account. Did I say it’s been 33 days and counting? I understand that they probably get a zillion such requests in a day but an automated response reassuring me that all will be well would have done just fine.

For obvious reasons January was a S…L…O…W month. You can imagine my frustration every time I had to Google something; I couldn’t help but think of my account and what wickedness David might be up to. I became addicted to checking my blog least something scandalous was posted in my name! After much huff, I decided to move on as I wasn’t getting far sulking and cursing this criminal! It is true that despite everything the sun still comes out and boy was it shining in Nairobi this past few weeks of 2012!Thinking positively despite everything is hard work. But this ordeal helped me get my AHA moment for one of my term papers which I was having difficulties constructing. It focused on the right to privacy and my lectures seem to love it already! Next, in spirit of positivity I knew I was going to get my account back…BIG TIME!!This I decided was by either by hook or crook.

I embarked on mission ‘get my account back’. I will not go into the nitty gritty of how I managed to get my account back(lest this buffoon is reading this)but I thought it is prudent to  share with you some things you might want to do to protect yourself from such a horrendous  ordeal.

•  Firstly, change your password(today)or frequently especially if you use a shared computer or access your account in a cyber!

•   Use a strong password usually incorporating caps,numbers,symbols etc….

•   Do not use obvious passwords. Foreign languages,vernacular are preferred.

•   Passwords should be undisclosed. Do not share the same with others or save a list of other accounts and their passwords on any account.

•   Activate the two step verification code on your Gmail account. A verification code will be sent to your cell phone upon request every time you want to log in.

•   If you must access your account on a smart phone, include the two step verification as well; and use a different password too! Sign out especially when you don’t need to be online.

•   Turn off blue-tooth devices when not in use.

•   De-junk your account, delete emails you no longer need and empty your trash ever so often.

•   You really don’t want to add people you don’t know on any social media you are using. Limit the information you put out there especially in regard to your accounts, information about you etc.

•   Use different passwords for every account, especially your recovery account! Imagine having two accounts hacked into at once!!!!

•   Avoid sending,forwarding,replying to emails with a bunch of recipients you do not know.

•     Keep checking the account setting-you might just stumble upon something that might help you up your security features.

Wish you a hacked free account!

We are delighted that two University of London Laws students in Kenya are excelling in prestigious international Mooting Competitions. Catherine Kiama and Lilian Nyaga of Inoorero University in Nairobi were placed in the top ten English speaking universities in the African Human Rights Moot Competition which took place in South Africa. This Competition has become the largest annual gathering on the continent of students and lecturers of law. Established in 1992, 975 teams from 129 universities, representing 48 African countries, have over the last 19 years participated in this premier event on the university and human rights calendar of the continent. Building on this success, Catherine and Lilian went on to win the East African Arbitration Moot Competition and have now both secured internships with top legal firms in Nairobi. Patricia McKellar of the Laws programme met Catharine and Lilian in Nairobi and was pleased to present them with a gift from University of London as recognition of their achievements. We wish them both every success in their future careers.

http://laws.londoninternational.ac.uk/2012/01/success-for-kenyan-law-students/

A Strange World.

A lot of people are like wheelbarrows:

No good unless pushed.

Some are like trailers:

They have to be pulled.

Some are like canoes:

They have to be puddle.

Some are like kites:

If you don’t keep a string on them they will fly away.

Some are like footballs:

You cannot tell which way they will bounce next.

Others are like balloons:

Full of air and ready to blow up.

And yet others are like neon lights:

They keep going on and off.

But very few are like a good watch:

Open faced, pure gold, quietly busy

By the way what kind of person ARE YOU?

To 2012...

The curtains have fast closed on 2011…

Wow. What a year it’s been. Pictures are a great way to

remember and relive those moments we loved and a

constant reminder of those lessons we learnt along the

way. Am sure many of us are reflecting and dissecting

what the year has meant to us and what improvements

can be made in the next….so here’s what I learnt in 2011…

Becoming a first time real aunt!!!My very handsome

nephew (replica of a Greek god-promise) is a bundle of joy.

In just over eight months he has taught me the importance

of waking up with a bang….with a big laugh and the

broadest smile you ever did see!!!No wonder we are told

babies are life’s little angels.Mon petite prince does not

feign affection. If he likes something, he shows it and if

not…well that too will be pretty obvious. Am not sure at

what point in time I found the need to conceal some

opinions and views…something about growing up I

think, but thanks to him I relearn the art of keeping it

real!

Becoming a bridesmaid!!Wanja taught us beautifully that

not all brides turn into bridezillas on their big day! 2011

was definitely a year to keep in touch with our roots and

culture. Who knew that ruracio and all those other

celebrations (some that I can still not pronounce without

causing ribs to crack) are such interesting and fun affairs!

The most important lesson to be learned in all those

celebrations to me are echoed in Beyonce’s lyrics…’if you

like it then you should put a ring on it!’ If the bloke

really loves you as he should, it seems that those” minor”

details to get your hand should not be such a big deal and

an excuse to live in sin(not formalising the union)with

you.

Last year, I also learnt the real meaning of fair-weather

friends and frienemies.It seems that when things are

going superbly for you, not everyone in your camp is

shaking a pom-pom in triumphant mood for you!

Sadly,this could be very close people who ideally should

have your back but are the same people plotting your

doom. Hard lesson learnt: not to be so naïve and

REALLY know how to differentiate friends from foes!

The older I get (yes I acknowledge am getting older!)I also

appreciate that friendships do end: and it’s ok! Some

friendships do last longer, and others will end. Just

because! This is perfectly normal and I shouldn’t beat

myself up over it!

In 2011, I was reminded that death is a part and parcel of

life’s cycle. Despite this, we are never adequately prepared

to deal with it when it befalls our circle. I do believe it is

important to grieve and allow ourselves time to do so,

however best we think. The sun still continues to shine

and life must inevitably continue to move on.



To 2012!!!



I must say in spite of everything, 2011 was a blast. This

year is a leap year…so we have 366 days 5 hours 48

minutes and 47 seconds to have another go at life’s very

interesting journey!

To 2012…

AN OPEN LETTER TO MY NIECES.

Am lucky to have aunts who keep it real and say it like it is……find below a series of open letters to their nieces. Hope you will save a copy and make reference to it from time to time and share it with all your girls too!

Hi Ladies,

I have been writing this since I got back:

I have to accept that you are no longer girls now….

Being your youngest [stress young…] aunty, I feel I have the responsibility to talk to you about issues that your mothers will probably find hard to talk to you about.

The issue at hand at the moment is relationships [read: MEN],I love all of you so much and I would hate any of you to go through some things I have seen in my lifetime. I know some of you are already rolling your eyes and saying “here we go again” but believe me, I was once your age and thought and felt that I was knowledgeable and mature enough to make the right choices-but guess what, I wasn’t, and I wish I had someone to talk to me openly and honestly. May I apologise in advance if I cause any offence, I know I have met some of your interested parties, but I am not being personal-I just want to be sure that whatever decisions you take, you do it with your eyes wide open.

This are the warning signs of a man who will control you, delete your life as you know it and even result to violence. I want you to look at the list, and if the men you are seeing are represented in this boxes, trust me its time to get out.

1. You are all beautiful, intelligent and capable [and am not just saying that because you have my genes and any man who makes you feel any less than that is questionable.

2.I know we all have to hide our relationships from our parents to some point, but if you are having to lead a double life to be with a man, he is not worth it, and that’s a first red flag to violence.

3. if he openly humiliates you and puts you down, believe me its not going to get better.

4. If you are having to make excuses for his behaviour, actions or explain his comments, that’s a person you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with.

5. If you cannot fit your family and friends around him and find that you have to abandon the former for him, again a major red flag for violence. Violent men will always first isolate you from those closest to you-family and friends. Oh believe me at the time you wont realize what’s happening, you’ll think its all love, then you find yourself cancelling that family function or that date with a friend in order to be with him all the time convincing yourself that you didn’t really want to go meet that long lost friend or for that family get together because it was going to be boring anyway.

6. I know we all fall in love and feel like we can’t do without that man in our life, but if that feeling is persistent and makes you keep going back to him despite his unbecoming behavior, another red flag.

7. If you get anxious or afraid to be with him in the presence of your family or friends and you find yourself constantly saying ‘they just don’t understand/like him’ its time to cut your losses. One person can have a problem or even not understand him, but if it’s 2 or more, open your eyes girl…

8. If he makes you feel like no one else would want you-do I need to say it-GET OUT!

9.If he is possessive over you and you have to explain, who is that, who were you talking to, how do you know them, and gets into a huff if you talk to another guy or even flies into a rage…again, a bright red warning sign.

10. If you are afraid or anxious to raise an issue with them about something they said, did or didn’t do, that’s another red flag.

11. If he makes you think or feel your life plans/dreams/goals are not that important-he is the most important thing in your life right now-he is not right for you.

12..This is the crunch of it-IF EVER a man lays his hand or his finger on you in anger or bangs a table, a wall or breaks something because of you-please, please I beg you, don’t wait another minute-dump him! Violent men know how to apologize, they will even cry and tell you how special you are, how they can’t live without you and how it will never happen again. He probably means it, but he can’t help himself and IT WILL happen again.

Society makes you feel like that the above is normal in a relationship -well I am telling you society can go jump off a cliff-it is YOUR life you are the one who has to deal with it.

Make sure your men understand who you are and what’s important to you-if you go with a blank canvas, believe me they will fill it in for you with what’s important to them! If they see you are willing to push aside your values, dreams and aspirations they will help you push.

If you do make a bad call, do not be afraid of what people will think if you change direction, kama ni mbaya ,mbaya, just know its your life, not everybody else’s, and people will always talk. If you need to get out-then just do. I assure you a few of us will always be in your camp no matter what.

I am not putting you off men and marriage; I am just saying make sure it’s with the right person. Marriage/relationships even at its best isn’t easy and takes compromise, but it doesn’t have to be endured, it’s meant to be enjoyed.

 Ladies you are family, I would like to believe that if you saw the red flags in the man the other person is dating, that you have the inherited right to point it out, and if its pointed out to you, you need to take it as it is meant-in your best interest and not get offended. You all need that-because as I said, when you are in it, you might not necessarily see it. Just to let you know that if I see it, I am going to point it out…hopefully one day you will thank me for it.

And finally as I’ve always said, if you need to talk, I hope you know am always there. Anytime, without judgement.

I wish you all love and relationships that make you grow, not hamper you.

Lots of love

Your Auntie

IU Feted at the East Africa Arbitration Moot Court Competition.

 Copied from the IU website.

Thu, 12/01/2011 - 14:49 — admin

Two third year students from Inoorero University (IU) School of Law topped in the East African Arbitration Moot Competition held on Friday November 25, 2011 at the Strathmore Students Centre.

Catherine Kiama and Lilian Nyaga beat their counterparts through stiff competition in other universities which saw them emerge the overall winners. The students were given a problem and later divided into two groups with pool A being Inoorero University, Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology(JKUAT) and Kenyatta University while pool B comprised of Mount Kenya University(MKU), Nazarene, University of Nairobi (UON) and the Catholic University of East and Central Africa (CUEA).

The students submitted a memorial from each pool and tackled it as claimants and respondents then went through an elimination process with IU tackling UON while MKU battled with JKUAT in the semi finals. IU and JKUAT got their ticket to the finals where IU emerged the overall winner. Ms Kiama was also recognized for being the best orator.

Great joy was expressed through the five finalists who have earned themselves internship opportunities In 5 law firms. Despite having only two participants, IU still carried the day considering that the other competing teams were advantaged to have a third participant as a research person.

To ensure a credible process is followed, the event brought in partners from other law firms as judges as well as the chairperson and the deputy from the Kenya Arbitration Society.

It was a joyful moment for the IU institution who had earlier won an award in South Africa during the African Human Rights Moot Court Competition in July this year.